Twelve Men of Christmas (2009)

Twelve Men of Christmas (2009)

Well, fresh off my sojourn to a Bavarian Christmas village in North Eastern Washington, I figured what better way to dive back into things than another holiday flick. 

Here we have a Lifetime movie with one of my secretly cherished actresses of late, Kristen Chenoweth. Actually two I guess with Anna Chlumsky (who was recently in The Good Guy) as well. Anyways, Chenoweth who I have loved since Pushing Daisies (underrated show that ended before it's time) stars as a New York commercial advertising big wig who finds her boyfriend or fiance or something fornicating with her boss at the office Xmas party. Jilted and subsequently fired, she goes all "woe is me" before swallowing her pride and moves to the midwest for some ridiculous reason and is hired to re-shape the towns postcard image.

Anyhow, despite being a hot shot advertising exec, the best idea she has is to make a nudie calendar with the men from the local search and rescue unit who could use the proceeds of the calendar to buy a helicopter or something. Except that given that this is a Lifetime movie the men aren't really nude (despite their reservations about their.... shortcomings) every dude is clothed. In fact it is more PG than the covers of most men's health magazines.

But really who cares. If you stayed awake through the explanation you just saved yourself 90 minutes you may have remotely (very remotely) wasted on watching this film. You know how it is going to end. Everybody finds love and the tough shell of the heroine is melted by the doting leading man who at first frustrates her before falling for her. It is like a visual Harlequin romance novel with much less sex.... not that I would know of course..... *cough*... anyhow....

The Good: Hmm. Not much. Kristen Chenoweth is enjoyable in most everything, but here she is supremely wasted as a walking New York archetype. Anna Chlumksy I guess is decent as Kristen's somewhat real assistant in the small town.

The Bad: Everything else. The story is bland, the town is pulled from a series of perfect postcard shots, undoubtedly meant to dazzle and amaze us with small town life, but for a community of 19000 (so sayeth the mayor) it looks to hold maybe 1500 people tops. There must be a lot of people in dem dar hillz.

Final Thoughts: I feel like I have been swindled. I watched this for the notion that it may be a holiday flick with the adorable Kristen Chenoweth, and instead I got this crapfest that wasn only tenuously a holiday flick. This may be the first film I watched where AFTER the character arc transpires the lead is even more vapid and empty than when they started.

Add to the vault? Good gravy no. There are better holiday movies, there are better romance movies. There are better holiday romance movies. Hell even if you are looking for a crap holiday romance movie there are still better ones than this. I think Matthew McConaughey has made a few no doubt.


If you are still here and INSIST on seeing the trailer for this flick, then by all means... .enjoy: