Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Frankenstein (1931)

Frankenstein (1931)

Ah, classic cinema. In preparation for Halloween I have several horror movies still awaiting viewing, including 3 classics that I admit I have never seen. Frankenstein, Dracula and The Wolf Man.

First up, Frankenstein. Ah such an interesting movie. Far more interesting than I ever suspected to be honest. I can see why it has stood the test of time. There are essentially only 3 interesting characters in the film. The monster, The Doctor, and Fritz (who I imagine the majority of the public out there presume was always called Igor).

There are other characters but Colin Clive's turn as the Doctor, and Boris Karloff's as the Monster made this movie the gem in cinematic history it has proven to be. Everyone knows the tale, a brilliant but eccentric scientist plays god and creates a monster. Fritz is the hunchback and all-around bastard to the monster. Things go awry, monster escapes and well... go watch it if you don't know how it ends.

The parts that really stood out were when once the Monster escapes, he meets the young girl by the lake. Wow. Just wow. We have all seen the iconic scene or at least know the references when witnessed in other movies, shows, and what not, but seeing the original film version, powerful stuff. It was tragic and the viewer is absolutely forced to empathize with the monster. We question whether it is his latent predisposition to murder given that he is comprised of the parts of murderers, or is it merely the childlike innocence he seems to exhibit as an entirely new creature only a few days old?

I must also give props to this film for it's cinematic style and design. Obviously inspired by earlier works like The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, the design of Frankenstein's lab is all distorted angles, deep lines, and impossible architecture.

The good: Karloff, Clive, and the design stand out the most. Fritz is arguably the catalyst that could have prevented the Monster from being a monster. The girl at the lake. And the final scene while quick, is cinematic gold. Also the scene with the father going down the streets through the German festival, again... just wow.

The bad: the rest of the cast is mostly forgettable. I don't believe any real relationship existed between Elizabeth and the Doctor. And the film feels like it tells it's story very quickly. Which is fine, but I felt I wished we spent more time with the Monster and his foray into the world, for good or for bad.

Final Verdict: Obviously in this day and age, not everyone will have the patience for a classic film that is from an entirely different era of mannerisms, horror, and life. Many people will be turned off by the mere fact it is in black and white. Which is a shame and makes it that much more important for film lover's to try their best to keep these classics from fading away into obscurity. Kids may know the references in modern film and culture, but without knowing the roots of film, how can you truly appreciate it?

Add to the vault: Not a repeat viewing in the same vein as Dawn of the Dead remake (which I can watch most anytime), but if I ever saw them on sale I would definitely buy them and keep them in my repertoire much akin to a treasured book in the library you only dust off and re-read every decade or so.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Suck (2009)





Suck (2009)

Well, well, well. Colour me surprised. No this isn't pornography. I recorded this solely on the title, expecting something akin to a crappy Wayans' brothers movie, or marginally better/worse (your pick) a Scary Movie crapfest.

Not at all what I expected. This little Canadian flick was actually somewhat enjoyable. I didn't expect it to fall into more of the "indie" category, and truthfully, I am not labeling it as an indie flick, but to be honest it isn't really a musical either. It claims to be a rock & roll comedy, and that is exactly what it is.

The premise is simple enough, a loser band (ironically named the Winners) is trying to make it big but really barely rise above mediocre. One band member (the arguably only x-factor to the band staying together and coincidentally an attractive female) gets seduced by a vampire, and slowly as the body count rises, the band becomes a success. What this film doesn't advertise (given the brief breakdown I read on the PVR) is that this film has iconic artists musical and cinematic alike. We are talking Alice Cooper, Malcolm McDowell, David Foley, Iggy Pop, Henry Rollins, and the occasional other person folks may notice out the ordinary.


The music in the flick is not done in a random "let's break out into song" camp style, but more-so heavily infused into every part of the flick. And it was actually kind of enjoyable. A lot of it was cover versions of songs that are attributed to the stars above, but even the original songs are enjoyable too. Just don't expect the next Rocky Horror Picture Show.

What about the comedy? Well some of it is silly, but even with the "gore" it is much more innocent than comedy in most movies which strives to be as vile as possible to generate a laugh or two. It obviously doesn't all work, but the heart is there. Rob Stefaniuk who directs and stars in it, shows that this was (like Zombie in the last review) doing something he enjoyed doing. I will say that the French-Canadian Hugo was a consistently funny addition.

Is it scary? No. Not slightly. It's a pretty tame flick. Ah well, all in the spirit of Halloween right?

The good: The heart. The music. The Canadian-ness. And the stop-motion transition scenes. Very cool.

The bad: Well it's silly but fun. A decent flick for free on the movie channel. Don't expect Blade, but it's definitely not as hokey as sparkly vampires.


Final Verdict: A proud little flick. The more I looked into it, I wasn't that surprised to see it won a bunch of awards. It's probably one of the nicest flicks that no one will ever see.


Add to the vault?  Nah. I don't even know if it is on dvd or blue-ray, but I would definitely give it another gander if I saw it on TV again in the future.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Halloween II (2009)

Halloween II (2009)

So I have been referencing remakes, sequels and such ad nauseam, so why not review one of those remakes. It would have been too easy to review some sloppy paint by numbers remake like Black Christmas, or My Bloody Valentine (3D!) but given the spirit of the season, and the actual effort that went into this remake AND sequel, why not given this an honest go and be fair.

To disclaimer, I have seen all of Rob Zombie's cinematic endeavours to date, and while I think he has a great sense of style, he's still finding his rhythm in regards to story and character but the passion is there. That in and of itself puts Zombie way above the competition and it makes it that much more depressing when his films do not do well.

In this particular instance, Zombie purely made the follow-up to his first Halloween effort, because he wanted to complete the story he wanted to tell. At least it feels that way. Most people could easily dismiss it as a cash grab, but when you compare the domestic and international numbers, this film was far from a commercial success.

So about the film, well the film basically picks up right from the ending of his 2007 Halloween film, and continues following Laurie (the female protagonist) as she tries (unsuccessfully obviously) to continue her life in lieu of the trauma caused by the first flick. Michael is back (OMG SPOILER!) and havoc ensues. Malcolm McDowell and Brad Dourif are back to reprise their roles as well, and Zombie still finds a way to have his wife Sheri Moon be in the film as well, although in a different capacity than one might expect.

The film does play with some interesting plots, such as Laurie's attempt to move on after trauma, and Dr. Loomis' capitalizing on the notoriety of Michael's killings. If it followed the standard formula for a slasher flick it would have been a bunch of forgettable college co-eds that you WANT to get killed in gruesome fashion, but here you have (for the most part) people attempting to be somewhat real, and having plausible relationships to one another, and how they are all victims in some fashion or another to the unstoppable killing machine of Michael. Again, character is not always Zombie's strong suit, so some are bordering on ridiculous, but otherwise it's a relatively solid effort.

The good: The imagery. Zombie is a horror movie aficionado and he nails aesthetics that again elevate this above the regular drivel that passes for horror movies these days. What I think he needs to do though, is reign in his thoughts, and go back to telling his own story. House of 1000 corpses and Devil's Rejects were okay films that were too much style over substance. So he's got that, but he needs to get another original story, and writer/co-director that will keep the story in check and provide the objective voice that Zombie needs to hear in order to really elevate him to quality film-making. As it stands now though, I worry that Zombie has attached himself too much to the whole 70's exploitation style of cinema (ala Devil's Rejects or Grindhouse) and he will pursue that instead of carving his own niche in the horror department.

The bad: Characters and story are the only thing hampering this flick. As well I can't help but imagine how much better this would have been if it wasn't tied to an established franchise. Mike Myers and Jason, are ultimately weak antagonists. Zombie gets an "A" for effort in attempting to psychoanalyze Michael and give him a back-story, but ultimately no one seeing 'Halloween II' is going because they want to get into the head of Michael Myers. As much as I knock remakes and sequels, the fact is their target audience are audiences who want a throw-away movie. The same college co-eds that are epitomized on screen are the reflections of the typical audiences who go see these flicks. It's no wonder why Halloween II was not very successful for Zombie when you can imagine that most of the audience in attendance probably has the attention span of a toddler, and unless you can keep the kills or the T&A at a higher ratio than their text messages, you're gonna lose them in the exposition.

Final Verdict: I can appreciate Zombie's work here, but ultimately the film is a one off. It gets a passing grade for being entertaining enough to endure the 90+ minutes it takes to tell it's story, but it's by no means a classic in the making. Truthfully the failure can mostly be attributed to the very fact that Zombie pursued material that for many people is too established in pop culture. The very fact that the Halloween series, much like the Friday the 13th series, had become ridiculous caricatures of what they once were though the over abundance of sequels and increasingly absurd premises for stories, meant that Zombie had an uphill battle to tackle the material. He may not have been entirely successful, but working with what he had, he may as well have turned water into wine.

Add to the Vault? No. This is not going to be a Halloween regular (despite the irony), and I definitely won't be buying it. But I am still holding out hope for Zombie to make the one film that finally tells the story he needs to tell. Does that make sense? Please Rob, go back to telling original stories!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Road (2009)


The Road (2009)

Wow. Feel good movie of the year! In all seriousness though, wow. Great movie and for a book-to-movie conversion, this is a movie that knocks it out of the park. Like most people, I find that book to movie conversions are often severely lacking even a fraction of the atmosphere, character or story of the titular novel the films are meant to epitomize. In this situation though, the movie does the book justice creating a labour of love that encapsulates the Cormac McCarthy story and in turn presents a film that is more horrific than any recent contemporary attempt at horror in some time.

Those unfamiliar with the story, can have it summarized up as such, boy and father travel a road in the bleakest most depressing post-apocalyptic world you could probably ever imagine without the addition of zombies. Don't get me wrong though, there are definitely different kinds of monsters that exist in this world and we the reader/audience travel with them through their trials and tribulations to reach some semblance of sanctuary.

I am familiar with the source material, having read the novel some time ago... en route to Belize for my honeymoon I think... and while the movie has some creative liberties (ala the role of the mother and a conspicuously absentee baby) such liberties in the film either do not detract from the overall essence of the story or in some facets, add to it. Now Cormac McCarthy also wrote No Country for Old Men, a Coen brothers adaptation that truthfully I didn't care for that much, nor did I think it was an Oscar contender let alone worthy of being a winner, hence why I have had little to no interest in the Academy Awards for some time, but I digress. The Road, unlike No Country for Old Men, is captivating from beginning to end, and everything from cinematography, powerhouse performances, quality actors in the smaller roles, and the devotion of the director all add to what is a spellbinding film.


The good: Everyone. Viggo Mortenson and Kodi Smit-McPhee hold the film. A testament to the kid's chops in holding his own against Viggo for 2 hours. If Stephen King's Dark Tower series ever actually sees the light of day, and I am speaking to you Ron Howard, do everything in your power to get these two for Roland and Jake. Oh and don't screw it up. No pressure though. What else is good? The other actors, Charlize Theron who is often hit-and-miss with me, nails an unforgiving role as the mother. Seeing Robert Duvall, Guy Pierce and Molly Parker, round out a small cast with quality over quantity. It would be a disservice to not acknowledge the incredible cinematography, the visual ability is the very essence of using a picture to tell a thousand words, which allows us to see page by page on screen in all it's wonderfully depressing splendour.

The bad: Not much. This film is definitely not for everyone. This film had my wife weeping (because of how good it is) but this may not be the film for kids or parents alike. You have to have a strong heart and a strong will to endure this film, as you are right there every moment with the characters on screen.

Final Verdict: Go see it. Expect to hurt watching it, but know that you are seeing a work of art. Then go read the book if you haven't already done so.

Add to the vault? Well this is a tough one. Obviously this isn't a film that you're gonna pull out for guilty rainy day fare, but I would be honoured to have this film in my collection if only for the sake of dusting it off in ten years and sharing in the experience again. So yes.


And to try something different, I am going to try linking to the trailers for the films I review from here on out.


Enjoy folks!

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)


The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)

Le sigh. I like Jennifer Carpenter (see my Quarantine review or my general appreciation for Dexter) but even she could not save this flick.

What I mistakenly thought was a horror film, is a weak, vaguely supernatural knockoff of what is essentially a Law and Order Halloween special.

There is no tension, no scares, and nothing "new" other than the attempt to mix Law and Order with the Exorcist. Don't get me wrong, I "get" the film, and how they try to play on the ambiguities of the situation so that the audience can mull it over amongst themselves, "Was she or wasn't she possessed?" but really, I highly doubt many people were just out of sheer boredom.

I never found myself caring for any characters, the priest (character actor Tom Wilkenson) is uninspired and his whole "I NEED TO TELL EMILY'S STORY" was not convincing. It didn't feel like there were any stakes in the film. The threat of the legal proceedings is minimal given that the whole prosecution's case is purely circumstantial and that the likelihood of a criminal conviction (if this were true) would be minimal. I won't spoil it for anyone who actually cares about the outcome, but I was pretty bored, and I do like me some demon possession/ghostly tales.

The Good: Hmm.... not much. I wanted it to be good because it wasn't presented as another slasher flick, but really there isn't much going for it. I suppose Carpenter's investment in her character is admirable, but I hear that Ashley Bell's turn in The Last Exorcism (2010) much much more creepy.

The Bad: The overall story. I credit my degree in basket-weaving to knowing the value of stakes in a story, and this film just has none. You start the film off knowing the outcome. Sometimes it works, but here, it just has no place to build to.

Final Verdict: Not worthy of being part of any horror tradition. Great footage for Carpenter's resumé but little else to appreciate.

Add to the vault? Nope. Not even worth a late night cable viewing in the future. Unless you are suffering from insomnia, then by all means.

Friday the 13th (1980)







Friday the 13th (1980)


Ah the 80's, such a glorious time I wish I could have had the pleasure of enjoying at a later age than which I did. Infact, when this movie came out, I had yet to exist, but yet, a short 30 years later, I can still appreciate the work that went into this film and works of similar ilk that hearken back to a bygone era.

The 80's slasher film was a celebratory time for horror films that has yet to see similar resurgence and appreciation in this day and age. Sure we are inundated with knockoffs, remakes and so forth, but none of these films have the lasting classic feel that the 80's greats were able to establish. Films like Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Halloween. Classic B-movies that established the "rules" of self-referential slasher films of today, the films that created the clichés we know and love. I can appreciate films like SCREAM but in reality Scream was just a post-modern riff on the 80's slasher film without any genuine creativity.

What's even worse is the over-reliance on "torture-porn" films (a term I loathe by the way) like the Saw franchise. I loved the creativity of the first one but I admit I could care less for the seuqels. Same with Final Destination, an amusing flick that spawned uninspired sequels. Tiresome "jump-scare" flicks with an over-reliance on gore in lieu of creative story telling. Sure there is the odd gem thrown in here and there (I loved films like In The Mouth of Madness and Event Horizon) but really, 95% of "horror" films these days are forgettable, not worthy of being even in the same bargain bin as the classics.

Long rant aside, does that make this film good? Oh gawd no, not in the same sense as like the Godfather or anything, but yes it is good. The film is just as cheesy and ridiculous as it was back in the day but it conveys the, dare I say, innocence of the era. When kills occurred off-screen and the acts were left largely to the imagination. I know my imagination is much more vivid wondering where all the hapless camp counselors disappeared off to when they meet with the villain, and their demise is only hinted upon.

The age of the film only serves to make it more interesting in my opinion, as it shows what effort and story-telling can do in lieu of glossy graphics and an inflated budget.

As I write this, I am idly watching the second installment in the series courtesy of AMC's Fear Fest, but I won't write a review, because really this isn't a review for one particular film, so much as the entire era when horror meant something in film instead of cheap scares and commercialized tripe.

The Good: The 80's-ness of the film. Such a glorious time. The feel of the film breaking new ground before it became the crappy phone-it-in flicks we have today. Oh yeah, the film also sports vintage Kevin Bacon!

The Bad: Well sometimes the cheese-fest is a little much. "You're doomed! You're all DOOMED!"

Final Verdict: A classic. Need I say more?

Add to the Vault? Any self-respecting horror-nut should have this in their library, but truthfully you are probably safe from needing to buy it any time soon. There is a reason these films are considered classics, and why they are shown in abundance come every Halloween. Tis the season and all.


Till next time folks....

Thursday, October 14, 2010

500 Days of Summer

And now for something completely different...

I know I promised I was going to try and just do horror movies for October, but I caved and watched a different genre.




(500) Days of Summer - 2009


This movie was one I have had on my radar for awhile, I am a definite Joseph Gordon-Levitt fan and I am glad to see he has survived the trappings of child stardom and become a very decent actor in his own right.

I am however not a fan of Zooey Deschanel. I keep hearing how fanboys love her but I don't see it. She just seems so wooden and ... I don't know.... difficult. Like she'd be one of the most annoying people to just be around just by her mere presence.

It isn't like I haven't tried to like her. I have watched a lot of movies with her in them, but she's exactly the same in each of them. Oh well, onto the movie.

So this movie is the ANTI-romantic comedy. It sort of plays like it could be a romantic comedy but instead you have what is quite possibly one of the most real depictions of a real life romance and breakup. This isn't spoiling anything. They tell you that in the first 5 minutes of the film.

Despite my misgivings about about Zooey, Joseph carries this film entirely. He takes us on his emotional roller coaster of each stage of a relationship, and the gradual, painful realization that love is not always like it is in the movies, or sung about on the radio. His character Tom, is a character after my own heart, he is a hapless romantic who has sometimes unrealistic expectations of love and relationships. His inability to fathom that he has given himself over so completely to someone and it may not be completely mutual. It's a real, raw and honest film that tricks you into thinking it's a paint by numbers rom-com.

Some people will find this a pretentious hipster movie, and it definitely can feel that way, but it shouldn't be avoided because of it. I never considered myself a hipster, I don't wear tight jeans with white belts, but I did find it amusing that nearly all of the songs in the movie are on my own personal playlists for one reason or another.

As an aside, the movie is rife with other bit character actors including That Nerdy Guy from Criminal Minds (who does basically the same character but stupid in this film), and That Guy Who Looks Weird But is Married To Christina Hendricks (look him up, you'll recognize him from something), including other bit parts from people from Bones (which has Zooey's much more talented sister Emily) and Community (WAYYYY better than Modern Family.)

The good: The story, every character but Summer, and the self-awareness of the film that keeps it real despite the movie elements.

The bad: Don't act like you didn't expect me to say it. Zooey Deschanel. Upside to this, is you aren't terribly upset if he doesn't wind up with her. Ha ha.

Final Verdict: A definite must watch for any fan of the rom-com (how stupid a term is that anyway?) provided that you are strong enough to appreciate the reality of the situations depicted.


Add to the Vault? Mayhaps. I will have to mull it over some more before I decide for certain. Still a great show.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Quarantine

Before I begin, yes I know this is the Americanized version of REC, and no I have not watched REC or REC 2 yet. No I do not care about how they are the superior flicks. I will get into why below, but when I watch those flicks I will review them on their own merit as well.



Quarantine (2008)

As far as americanized remakes go, there are generally two forms of thought. One is that anything Americanized is a bastardization of the "original" making the efforts of whomever made the remakes rendered totally immaterial. OR one can appreciate both sets of films for what they are and what they strive to do.

Again, I have not seen REC, so I cannot comment, but as a standalone film, Quarantine is a pretty decent flick. It's scary, it's atmospheric and has a straight forward story that can be enjoyed on multiple viewings. A better comparison would be how this film holds up to other films of the "shaky-cam" genre such as Blair Witch, Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity and so on. Of all those films, the only one I did not overly enjoy, despite wanting to, was Paranormal Activity. I mean, if you are going to use the shaky-cam and try and tell a tale, it is best to explain right away why you have the characters doing what they do. In Blair Witch, they were making a documentary. In Cloverfield, they poignantly were self-aware and how in this digital age, SOMEONE needed to have the story told. In Quarantine, it was a reporter/camera man doing a special on firemen, when the crap hits the fan, the camera becomes a light source for which they use to navigate around them.

So onto the review. Plot synopsis, a reporter (Jennifer Carpenter of DEXTER fame) is a reporter in the vein of special reports and such. Obviously marginal, she and her lone cameraman are doing some coverage about a local firehouse. There we meet some bucket-heads, and before long, we are pulled along to a call out to a slum-style apartment building that has folks from all walks of life among it's tenancy. A few character actors met along the way and long before 28 days transpire, a rabies-like virus is swiftly infecting any and all of the residents with reckless abandon. The CDC swoops in and quarantines the building not letting anyone in or out and it becomes a race against time and the virus for our heroine to find a way out of the building.

The good: Jennifer Carpenter, it was a welcome change from her foul-mouthed Debra Morgan character on Dexter. Seeing her play a normal person in an abnormal situation, she was never annoying and audiences are able to invest in her character. Speaking of characters, the whirlwind story introduces many, but it's a testament to the film that the audience is able to follow along easily and adeptly despite the shaky-cam.

The bad: It is short. It is a quick little tale and given the subject matter, it may not be everyone's cup of tea.

Final Verdict: The film is definitely enjoyable. It very well may pale in comparison to the original but that shouldn't negate the effort that went into this flick. If you like scary movies, instead of watching some ridiculous slasher flick, rent this one and enjoy a good bowl of popcorn. Zombie enthusiasts should definitely give it a chance.

Add to the vault: I will wait to see REC before any conclusion here is made. With the fanaticism of film geeks, this is an affront to even review Quarantine, but if REC is that much more superior, I may let Quarantine go as just an enjoyable flick on the telly when it comes on.

Legion

In keeping with the Halloween theme, the reviews will be horror-centric or Halloween in nature for this month.

Fresh off the heels of the Monster Squad, I watched the next movie on the PVR list. In this case it was Legion.





Legion (2010)


Starring Paul Bettany, and Lucas Black, Dennis Quaid and Kevin Durand, the plot is a simple straight-forward apocalypse type film where God has basically decided to admit his mistake with humanity and start anew. But...BUT there is a child that could save all of mankind being born to basically some white-trash girl in a desert diner. Monsters and angels try to obliterate the place but through the perseverance of non-faith, and a cache of automatic weaponry, the eclectic mix of people hold the fort until.....

...well I guess you will have to watch and see.

I watched this movie wanting to hate it. I admit I was intrigued by the creepy ice-cream guy in the promos way back when, and I had a glimmer of interest that my cynicism tried to beat out of me and for the most part it won. Delegated to being a freebie on the movie channel, I thought, "Okay, I will give this an honest go." And I expected to be disappointed.... well more than I was.

Okay if I misled you, I apologize, the film isn't good. It isn't great. I am a fan of the actors Paul Bettany, Lucas Black (who I have enjoyed since his American Gothic days), Dennis Quaid (arguably phoning in a performance here, he was much MUCH better in Pandorum) and Kevin Durand (a local actor who despite being in mainstream films is still just on the fringes of being an "IT" actor). The film does try though, and while it is obvious not all the actors are trying in the film, it is a decent B movie horror/religion flick that isn't campy tongue-in-cheek and yet still is a little fun.

Is it ridiculous? Oh hell yeah. Note to the director: Don't show a scene of a LEGION of angels that are in the multitudes of millions, and then have the entire flick be about kinda possessed people who are easily killed, and then only ONE angel to finish the job. Just saying.

The good? Well not much. Without the religious angel aspect it could have been right up there with halfway decent zombie/demon apocalypse flicks but then it gets weirdly biblical and one can't help but lose a little interest. Don't get me wrong, it's not the religion per se, it's just the "rules" that suddenly the apocalypse is bound by. Never does it fully articulate how quite possibly the rest of the world is destroyed and yet a handful of people in a diner can fend off the apocalypse for any length of time. Some of the imagery is neat like the dude exploding in acidic boils, or the creepy people (before they just became punks and headbangers).

The bad? Pretty much the rest. It was enjoyable but I could not help but wonder about the movie "The Prophecy" which had a young Viggo Mortensen, and a fantastic Christopher Walken. I will need to re-watch it, but if you want bad-ass angels, watch that flick instead. Sorry Paul Bettany, but I hope your upcoming Priest flick fares better.


Final Verdict: If nothing else is on, and you want some mindless escapism, but make sure you turn your brain off before viewing.

 Add to the vault? Definitely not, but I may have to re-watch the Prophecy which if I recall correctly could be a worthy addition.

The Monster Squad

Well, it's full on into Halloween now that Thanksgiving is over. I wish I could devote my time to do a movie review a day ala the folks over at Ain't It Cool News for their old and obscure horror movies, but with French and life and such, I am not left with as much time. But I will barrage you with 3 back to back films. Starting with the Monster Squad!!






The Monster Squad (1987)

Ah, childhood. In 1987 I was no more than 6 years old, and yet I have strong memories of this classic film. Nary a film geek over the age of 30 would not be able to utter such classic lines as "Wolfman's got NARDS!" or "See ya later, Band-Aid Breath!". But does the film hold up to the test of time and prove to be as enjoyable as it once was?

Let me say a cautious, yes! My fears are that this film has not aged well, and despite some classic character actors which undoubtedly would have many people saying "Hey I know that guy." no one in the film has ever really gone on to anything famous. Without that star power this film exists solely on the fanaticism of the hardcore devotees who hearken back to a bygone era with the nostalgia. Does it appeal to today's youth? Not hardly in my honest opinion. Unlike movies like Legend or Labyrinth which have a definite whimsical value that can foster the imagination of even today's technology infused youth, this movie would only appear sad, pathetic and hokey.

Not to say that it is, mind you, just that if I remove myself from my obvious fandom with some objectivity, I can tell this film is destined to be forgotten once the fans are no longer able to keep breathing life into it.



 For those who lived under a rock and never saw this film, or are too young to appreciate it's splendor, here is the synopsis:



Way back when, Van Helsing found a way to banish Dracula via an ancient amulet to limbo, where he'd no longer be able to do the world any harm. Stuff goes wrong, Van Helsing gets sucked into the vortex instead and because of some ancient 100 year stipulation we cut to present day where it is only days before the same opportunity to banish Dracula is to occur.


Why the amulet is in 1987 middle America I forget but Dracula arrives (with Frankenstein's monster in tow and the wolfman) and stuff happens. Okay, Dracs also recruits a mummy from the nearby museum, and the creature from what I suspect is just a regular lagoon.


Luckily, for the human race, a hapless bunch of misfit kids, who have an improbable chance of ever hanging out together in a club at the same time, band together, get the amulet, find a virgin and battle the forces of evil.

So is it a good film? Well yes and no. Watching it I was overwhelmed with nostalgia like those aforementioned fans, and I found myself sitting bundled up late at night, covered in a blanket with a big bowl of popcorn, wide-eyed and all of 6 years old all over again. It did take me back to a simpler time, when magic, monsters and all things mythical held monopoly on my life. That is the true value of the film.

And yet the adult in me, with a sad smile watched a relic of a movie showing all the wear and tear of an antique. The plot was rushed, the characters were caricatures and the film on a whole felt like it was unsure of it's target audience. As much as I love it, I can see why it bombed at the box office and was destined to be just a cult classic. The movie did have several things going for it though. The creature and make up effects were astounding, and the movie did not pander to a child audience. A refreshing change of pace compared to the world of today that has such watered down patronizing tripe with talking gerbils and farting dogs, this film showed kids talking and behaving like kids. The part that made me weep though as I watched this on a late night cable channel (in HD mind you) was the little movie warning that said because of the language and horror themes shown that the following film is intended for adult viewing audiences. There is language, there is sexual references, and there is horrific themes, but my gawd, that's how kids are. Pretending kids aren't kids and that they live in some little protective bubble is only lying to yourself. At least back in the day before the internet kids had to discover all the bad words, and suggestive topics, kids now can just google much much worse.

For shame, people.

Some other interesting observations, the Frankenstein monster is a definite homage to Bub the zombie in George Romero's Day of the Dead, which is a great thing to see in a kids monster flick. The creature effects, as I said, were fantastic, and it was great to see that a film wasn't afraid to show scary things to kids. Hell, it's like the director knew that kids' imaginations can make much scarier monsters, so why not have them be real instead of cute and cuddly non-monsters.

Final verdict: The film is definitely aged and flawed, and yet despite that I can't help but love it and hold it near and dear to my heart. A definite must-watch for anyone who likes Halloween, and any true film geek. The rest of the world may pass it up, but that isn't to say you shouldn't.

Add to the vault? Definitely. If I don't who will?

The Good, the Bad, and the Mediocre

No this isn't a review of the Man With No Name trilogy. In this particular review, I had the pleasure of watching the following three films: Slumdog Millionaire, Where The Wild Things Are and The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. All three films I was intrigued by but ultimately hesitant to watch because of different reasons. Having had them finally come around on the movie channels, I PVR'd them right away and with bated breath I dove in. So without further adieu:




Slumdog Millionaire:

My hesitation towards watching this flick stems from a guilty admission. My admission is this, quite often while I can appreciate social commentary films, I quite often find that I don't eagerly seek out such stories because I err on the side of wanting to be entertained over educated. For documentaries, or avant-garde films, and similar ilk features, I have to be in a certain mindset to dive into them. I have my minor in film and media studies which included more than enough films such as one where I had to watch water drip into a pot in a kitchen sink for an hour and a half, then write a 10 page paper on the meaning of it. So believe you me, that I have earned the right to be a little weary at pretentious 'art' films from time to time.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't presume Slumdog Millionaire to be a pretentious art film, but it was treading a fine line from the marketing I saw of trying to be more than it was. Every time some new "thing" results in cult-like waves of praise (i.e. Harry Potter, Iphone 4, Lost) I tend to avoid them like the plague because I don't enjoy being a lemming. That being said, I will eventually cautiously dip my toes in the preverbial water and try to give an honest go at drawing my own conclusions. This was the case with Slumdog Millionaire. It came out, and suddenly everyone was saying how fantastic and poignant the film was, which immediately puts my guard up. Is the film actually decent or is it "great" simply because its hip and cool to say it is, and everyone will think, "Oooh look how cultured I am, I watched Slumdog Millionaire." Not that there is anything wrong with that, but sometimes films are lauded as being great but are really absolute sheeite but everyone is afraid to say so.

So now that I have pre-empted the crap out of this review, what are the pros of Slumdog Millionaire that were in its favor for genuinely being a decent flick? Well Danny Boyle is a major plus. Even his films that miss the mark are often still leaps and bounds ahead of most Hollywood drivel that is being released on the masses. That and the hints in the ads that it was at it's core a love story. Those who know me (despite my wife's claims of me being a robot) know that I am hapless romantic. I am a proud sap, and can, more often than not, appreciate a solid love story. Princess Bride, French Kiss, Quigley Down Under, are all examples of fantastic stories with a love story at its heart. I know, I know, all previous credibility I had has just gone out the window.

Anyhow, so how was the bloody film already, you are no doubt asking? Well it was surprising good. It was far from perfect, there were parts of the story that felt unnecessary and kind of boring or confusing as to what it added to the story, but on a whole it sucked me in and I enjoyed it. It didn't at first though, it was a slow burn that gradually piqued my interest until about 3/4 of the way in I realized I was hooked. I needed to know how the story of Jamal and Latika ended up. So simple the words, "It's written." added such a wonderful sense of fantasy to the film, it took it from a mere story of woe, to an inspiring "please let the stars align!" hope.

The downside, well, Salim's story was never quite as weighty as it should of been. I don't know if it was story, acting, or combination of both, but I wanted Salim to be a much stronger character with much more gravitas to his actions which would have added more confliction to his actions and quest for personal gain. Instead it came across as one dimensional selfishness except in a couple of isolated instances.

As for social accuracy and validity of the portrayal of India? Well that's not for me as a born and raised westerner who is in no position to speak of things I know not about. I did like that rather than exploitative the portrayal of the slums was presented in more of a "matter of fact" style whereas it could have been the entire focus of the film. Instead the slums became as much a character and served to establish the characters personalities no different than if the setting had been about a couple of caucasian preppy kids attending a boarding school, or suburban hipster kids in Toronto. The setting of India was simultaneously fascinating, scary and rife with the notion of hope and prosperity on par with any Capra films portraying America in similar light.

Was it Hollywood-ized? Yeah no doubt. I have only watched a handful of Bollywood films, but enough to know that conventional story archs are not in the vein of Slumdog Millionaire. There has been some contention over this, and how it should have been more "Indian" and even so far as to chastize the film for the use of English. Again I have no real authority to comment, but my two cents are this, by taking such a direction, many more people were able to experience this film which is no doubt outside of many people's comfort zones. So was a greater travesty committed by using conventions that make it more relatable to a broader (albeit Western) audience or should it have strove to be more authentic (despite being helmed by a caucasian Brit)?

Final verdict: The film was far from the masterpiece it was heralded to be, but is it a decent romantic tale that takes a long time to hit it's stride? Yes. A surprise gem, in that I expected to be much more disappointed and less pleasantly surprised.
  
Add to the vault?: Doubtful. I won't soon forget the story of Jamal and Latika, but I fear on second viewing it risks to lose more of its charm by being scrutinized further.



Next up:





Where the Wild Things Are:

This was a film I was afraid to watch for a different reason. This is a film guilty of having a truly incredible trailer. Now it may be more affecting of males than females, again I can't comment on that, but for me it gave me chills from the emphasis on a child's imagination, the choice of music, and the fear of growing up. As a young lad, I spent the majority of my youth with my head in the clouds, the river valley wood's near my home was my playground where I waged countless battles, fought inumerable monsters and saved a million or so damsels in distress. Imagination is something I hold very dear to my heart and in this day and age I weep for children that have all their imagination handed to them electronically.

So I liked the film right? Nope. It was a severe let down. Again, like Slumdog, it was generally well received and people were all, "Wow, it's like I am reading the book on screen!" *insert facepalm here*

What did it do right? The costuming, the effects, the cast. All top notch and no qualms here. However...

What did it do wrong? Everything else. Now I am not a "Where the Wild Things are" purist. Heck, I can't quote a single line from the book, unlike Steph who was able to pick out direct lines from the book in the movie. So I am not invested in the source material, I do know that with the original story being like 40 pages long with only a few lines on each page, they obviously took some liberties. The story though is what was essentially wrong. I felt like visually I went on a journey to a far off island with strange creatures, but emotionally, intellectually there was no voyage. No one felt like they sincerely learned anything, all the characters were essentially the same as they were at the beginning (which is to say... annoying), and two hours later I was all but asleep. How could a story so rooted in the very essence of imagination fail to evoke any real sense of whimsy or escapism. Max and the Wild Things, did not learn greater things about themselves, there was no coming of age tale about a boy learning to deal with life's frustrations while clutching desperately to maintain the innocence of youth. There was solely an island full of socially defunct "patients" all in dire need of some psychological and possible pharmaceutical therapy, while possibly bi-polar Max gets to go back home and enjoy some cake.

Are we really left to believe that Carol won't get emo again in another day or two and eventually  eat all of his fellow islanders? No? Tell that to Douglas who nearly frightened Steph with images of Titus Andronicus near the end.

But the creatures are supposed to be scary, we shouldn't dumb down real emotions and frustrations for youth: I concur entirely, but at the heart of any decent children's story is a parable, or some similar learning about self or the world around you. It can be frightening (i.e. Grimms' original stories) but you ultimately come away from such tales with deeper insight. Not so with this flick. Now some of you may argue that I just didn't get it. Fair enough but I encourage you to tell me how. I saw the images, the nuances and the subtlety that was displayed, but am I convinced that a story arc actually occurred? No.

Final Verdict: Read the book. If you have kids, read the book to the kids, and many more. Don't let movies try and tell the tales that books have done so well for so long. If you want to enjoy the effects, go ahead and rent it.

Add to the vault?: No, not likely. Once was more than enough.

Finally:



The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

Ah Terry Gilliam. Such an amazingly creative and inspirational guy who has the world's worst luck to make movies and tell stories. In what is largely only known as Heath Ledger's last role before his untimely demise at the hand of one of the Olsen twins, The Imaginarium is rife with the hassles and set backs of any of Gilliam's efforts. I was hesitant to watch this film because often studio intervention, or Gilliam's own eccentricities make decent ideas into poor executions.

I will admit I didn't know much about the flick except that it had something to do with a travelling "act" and that weird crazy stuff happens. Oh and Heath Ledger is played also by Colin Farrell, Johnny Depp and Jude Law. So I did not have any real expectations of the film, and again it sounded like it would be pretentious and bizarre for the sake of being bizarre.

Well I was pleasantly surprised. The film was again far from perfect and would have benefitted from some tweaking of the story, and ultimately Heath Ledger not dying, but it was definitely a very satisfying film on the whole. This was if anything, what I wanted Where the Wild Things Are to be. A parable, which at it's basest level, was a variation on god and the devil playing chess, with a healthy dose of Doctor Faustus thrown in for good measure. This was a film that truly explored the depths of imagination (yet I still wanted more) and illustrated the merit and wonder of the unknown, largely thought to be absent from today's technologically dependent society.

The film gets a passing grade for the first 2/3 of the story, with the third act unfortunately feeling rushed and forced. While the third act was not as impressive as the rest of the film, the message still gets across and I found myself content when pushing "delete" on the remote.

I feel I should add, that this film further illustrated how sad it was that Heath Ledger was taken too soon, as I remember seeing him first in "Ten things I hate about you" and watching his career progress to the superb performance as the Joker in The Dark Night. He was definitely just hitting his stride and had vast potential. Truly a shame.

I don't have much more to add about the film, the synopsis won't do it justice. The best way I think to watch it was, like me, to go in without any preconceived notions about what to expect and let Terry Gilliam spin his yarn, if you will. This was a film that felt like a bedtime story, and if you allow it, you will find your imagination flowing too.

Final Verdict: Very nice. Another hidden gem but not without its flaws.

Add to the vault?: As you may have noticed, my determination is whether a film stands multiple repeat viewings, or guilty rainy day pleasures, and the list despite what my wife may say otherwise, is actually quite short. I love films, but not all films are so fantastic to be kept on hand, always at an arm's length away so as to take me on a trip again and again like a golden memory. This film if it had a solid third act, could have made the list, but instead I will pass on owning it, but if I see it on TV again in 5 years time or so, I would definitely record it for another jaunt.

So it begins...

Welcome ladies and gentlemen. Created for your viewing pleasure is this humble attempt at site devoted to reviewing movies. I have created this blog to not only review movies but share my thoughts on them and see if they deserve to be etched into the walls of the mausoleum to be honoured and remembered for the gems they are. Or if they should be cremated and tossed into the wind.

I'll take recommendations and I will review any and all movies as they come my way. There are no stipulations (aside from porn) on which films I will review. I do ask that in the remote chance of being bombarded by a million some odd movies, that you be patient until I get to your movie. Unfortunately at this point in time I do still have a day job.

A little about me, you ask? Well I have a degree in Drama with a minor in Film and Media Studies but compared to the Eberts, the Knowles and the thousands of other movie reviewers out there, my credentials end there. However, this will hopefully prove to be a labour of love and endure the test of time like all good crypts.

Will this be a horror themed review site? Nope, though I do appreciate horror movies, all genres are welcome. 

I hope you enjoy the reviews, I welcome any and all feedback. I encourage debates in the comments section provided we can all be civil. 

Well that's enough for now. Enough chit chat and get to the movies already, right? So without further adieu, onto the reviews...